if i ever piss you off tell me
i want to be given the chance to make things right
don’t bottle it up because you feel like it’s easier
if it can be avoided just tell me
communication means a lot to me ok and i like everything to be out in the open
That feeling of isolation has returned.
It’s the chill in your fingertips that causes the palms to sweat
The sting of oxygen that causes your eyes to water
Then there’s being alone.
Alone as you possibly can be even when surrounded by many.
And you remember why you used to feel the way you did.
You remember why you felt worthless all those years
Like nobody loved you
Like no one cared
Because when you fought with your friends and family you saw them go on with their lives happily and without you.
That’s when your self worth drops.
Because by now you’ve convinced yourself that you mean nothing to anyone.
Regardless of the truth behind it.
And when no one likes you
Even you find it hard to like yourself.
When the people you considered to be your foundation decide to wound you
Then you know you’re too desperate to let them leave
the bad grade comes and you feel like a failure
Then the notice of detention follows because you’ve stopped caring whether you’re on time for school or not.
You convince yourself you don’t need others to get through the day.
And to have the smallest bit of control over your own life you begin to eat less.
You know it’s wrong.
You know all of your thoughts are wrong.
But you can’t seem to add that to the landfill of flaws you’ve collected for yourself.
That’s when you find yourself sliding down a whirlpool of tests and essays
There’s no one to get you back up because they all assume you’ll do it somehow.
And you assume it too.
But you haven’t felt this way in years.
When the week is so bad you cry every night
The blade becomes so tempting
Giving up becomes so worthwhile
But you know you can’t
Cause you’re not who you once were.
“You never fucking taught me this shit”
A novel written by every student ever.
And the sequel
“you said this bullshit wasn’t on the test.”
“so what are you learning in math at the moment?”
that’s a good question
In all seriousness I made this because it’s one of my pet peeves for guys to assume I’m dressing up/wearing makeup for THEM, but then after I made this, I’m like holy shit I made that hair dryer fuck that shoe. So then I had two reasons to put it on tumblr.